Today ....sadness

Today, we lost our girl, Sadie.  She had shown some signs of muscle problems in her back legs in the last few weeks but seemed to recover quite quickly so we just assumed it  was perhaps from sleeping on them for too long.  She did like to sleep - as you will see by the following photos.

Last week she started to sleep in a dog bed under the living room end table and spent much of her day there. We noticed she was losing some fur and was not interested in eating much.  We didn't know how old she was but the symptoms looked like old age and we prepared ourselves for the eventual good bye.

Then in the last few days she went downhill very quickly. We made a vet appointment for yesterday afternoon, thinking we would not be coming back with her. We cuddled as much as we could during the day and wrapped her in her little pink blanket,fully expecting to hold her close as she was put to sleep. When the vet saw her, he recognized she was in bad shape but he decided to do some blood tests and take an X-ray. Our hearts hurt when we heard her cries of pain while she was being X rayed but it was a small bit of hope. Initial thoughts were that perhaps she had been infected by some sort of bacteria so he decided to keep her overnight.  We were so excited to think there was a chance to save her and we walked out of the clinic with much lighter hearts - so happy to know we'd have more time with her.

The next day, the happiness bubble burst.  The blood tests had been sent out and the vet said Sadie had to be sedated in the morning since her little heart was racing.  Three hours later the phone rang - and we heard our little girl had passed away in early afternoon, before the blood tests had come back.

We are left with so many questions now.  Did she think we had abandoned her and she just let go?  Was there anything we could have done to help her earlier?  Should we have asked the vet to put her to sleep while we were there to cuddle her so her last thoughts were of the humans who loved her so much?

But now I will turn to thinking about how she was so much a part of our family and how we treasured her unique qualities.  Our sweet little deaf cat - who always knew when food was being served and who found so many places in the house to put her furry print on. She would sit by side with our dogs - never worried about any one biting her.  Her short legs made it tough for her to jump on on most things - but she certainly would keep trying.  And her favorite place of all - was to climb up on my hubby until she was stretched out on his chest - and then she would close her eyes and knead her paws.

I have pulled out some of my favorite photos of Sadie - the often sleeping gal - who would claim a sleeping place for a couple of weeks and then look for another to lay claim to. The last photo is from a couple of months ago - when she actually made it up "Mount Everest" - the couch which she has often struggled to get up onto.  When we found her at the very top we were so surprised - and we figured it must have taken her quite some time to get all the way.

Never Gets any Easier to say Goodbye

This is a photo of Max back in July 2015when he had just been with us a few months after my Dad's death.  We knew he was old already and wanted to give him a loving home for what ever years he had left. He fit into the household from the first day with us...and in the last few months he often had a little white companion (Angel or Sadie) sitting beside him.  Even Sebastian, our"scaredy cat", had learned that Max was more bark than bite and he would gingerly walk close to where Max was laying down.

This last week he had not seemed well - and was walking more slowly than usual on our morning walks. We had an appointment this morning with our vet and fully expected to be leaving with some medicine to help Max feel better.  Unfortunately the vet found a mass in the lower part of Max's stomach. An X ray also showed a large cancerous growth further up in Max's lungs.  He had been having a little trouble breathing a few times but it quickly passed.  He was a strong dog and gave little sign of what must have been going on inside.

We said goodbye to Max at the vet clinic, in the same room we had seen our beloved Spike pass on over a year ago. It doesn't get any easier losing another member of our furry family  - but we will always treasure the memories and the unique characteristics each one brought along with them.